Bamshad (Bob) Lotfabadi's Website

I came to realize more about myself and I decided to write about the lessons that I have learnt so far, both in my beautiful trip to Shahrestanak with my friends as well as life in general during the past while. The following four photos are among the tens of photos we took during the trip. Anyway, here are the lessons:

1- It is not good to prejudge people. The best thing to do is to take things as they come your way meaning that you treat people only according to their behaviors at that specific moment. Everyone is different and prejudgment never works.

2- People have their own lives with some strengths and weaknesses that go back and forth in our mindset. I should work on my own positioning in seeing people and living my life rather than pointing the finger of blame toward them.

3- Enjoying being with other people is good but only to the amount that you can still feel yourself as a human being calling the right decisions. Being part of a group is great but if you are just acting as if you know what you are doing while you don’t know what you are doing, you are causing disturbance for the entire group. That’s the minimum we should consider in moral values. Just to be “in” the group is not always the smartest act for personal development. On the other hand when you keep your own identity and beliefs and open your mind to new experiences, you can communicate with others and learn from them as an independent intelligent person rather than a copier. The key-words are: Challenging the standards, Taking risks, and Having enthusiasm for healthy development.

4- Don’t take things personally. Trying to think correctly will automatically bring the right results. My example is this one: After almost being forgotten for about 2 hours (the way I saw it, which by the way was just an illusion), my friend came forward to take a photo of me for a certain interesting occasion I was in. I knew that I’m in an atmosphere where I need establishing new friendships and ignoring issues that may or may not be personal. But I chose to reject this. Instead of welcoming my friend’s photo-taking, I complained and asked him to stop it since he had already forgotten me for two hours.
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Ok, first of all I realized how sincere he is and how what I feeling was not right at all. Besides, let’s just say that he had – for his own reasons – forgotten to take a photo. Why would I have to care so much? Can’t I just live my life? The camera is his after all, isn’t it?

Let’s say there is no problem if you are mad about being forgotten. But the real fact is that if you want to establish friendship, you need to do a reality check and find your own logic. Then you can be more relaxed and accept other people’s personal reasons for doing things a certain way.
So after a while I realized I could have been much better off if I’d just forgotten the whole issue of mean and suspicious acts by others and live my beautiful life.

5- Let’s not believe that when we act excited, we really are “out of our minds” although other people may assume this or signal that that is how you really are. Let’s put positive breaks along the way to prove that to ourselves and perhaps others so that we know exactly where we are standing. I think the best logic is to act fun, emotional, and excited, when you think is the right time and act according to the previously set standards in the society based on the norms. My example includes: the time during the bus trip, and the games we played with others during our stay.

6- When you look deeper you will find many similarities between you and the people around you. Trust me. Every person has an aspect that is similar to at least two or three of your very interesting or bad aspects of life. I should learn to co-work for a better life. Establishing relationships will soften and smoothen the sharp edges of your spirit and will bring you to an equilibrium with yourself, the people, and the world.

7- Let’s be good friends or even fair leaders who will help those who are new to our groups or come to us with a different lifestyle and experience. I love helping and I don’t want to be a person who laughs at those who may have a different mindset or have experienced life differently because in today’s life, only a small percentage of the entire range of human activities is considered bad and wrong. The 90% of all activities are just a matter of opinion and there is no certain good or bad label for them!